Friday, May 11, 2012

Don't want to lose you!

The other day I found out that you were in the hospital.
A while ago I watched a video that a dancer had dedicated to her dying Aunty. She had created this video because she was in Poland touring when she got the news that her aunt may not be alive when she returned.
For weeks after first watching this video all I could think of was you Granny, and Oupie and My Vovo and Vovo. I miss all of you so terribly. I worry every day that I may not get to say good-bye, or that I'll never be able to see you again. I have tried so many times to write you letter in the past few weeks, but I can't bring myself to do it. Every time I start, I land up stopping because words cannot aptly describe how I feel. I owe all of you so much. As my grandparents you have all given and taught me so much. I remember the many holidays we spent together, whether it be at the hairdresser on thursday mornings or watching TV all day, you were always there.

Oupie: (MY MUSICAL INSPIRATION)


I will never forget how you inspired my piano playing. Tolerating hours of me hopelessly banging away on the piano, that is, until you taught me chopsticks. Even then though, now you had to put up with me playing the few things I did know, over and over again. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for also teaching me how to knit. Whenever I knit now, I silently think of you and thank you with all my heart for teaching me such a beautiful skill. I will never forget how you used to help cut my apples in the morning and put banana in my cereal, and how you make the best coffee in all the world. Another thing I will never forget is when and granny introduced me to Apple Jelly Jam and how every holiday I went there you would always have some in the cupboard just for me. To this day I can still spend hours reciting all those chopsticks. Only now I don't have anyone to accompany. Thanks you also for allowing me to have your cherished violins. They were well used by me and now little Angelique is also using them while on her journey of musical enrichment. You may not have thought that you were giving me a lot, but you gave me love and tried your best. That is all I could have ever asked for. Thank you for also knitting me all those jersey's. They have been passed on now to Angel and Cristi but they remain dear to me, they keep me warm. Luckily I haven't grown in quite some time now and I can still fit into the very last jersey you ever made. Two more things I've just remembered. How you always used to teach me every holiday how to play Rummy, because i could never quite remember how to play it when I'd finally see you again. I also remember, one night granny was sewing and it was pouring with rain outside. After dinner we sat in the lounge in the flat playing rummy when all of a sudden a huge rain spider came scuttling across the floor and i shrieked and jumped on the couch while my knight in shinning armour came to the rescue and politely swept the spider out the door with a broom stick. My hero! I will never forget your spinach and eggs! I love you Oupie and I miss you terribly!

Granny: (The disciplinarian)


Shortly before I moved overseas you gave me a whole stack of music that had once belonged to both Oupie and yourself. When you did so you gave me a particular piece with a pink covering with the title Rustle of Sprig. When you gave me this piece of music you said to me that it is a piece you wanted to have played at your funeral one day. I was never able to play it before but a week or two ago I went and got out from downstairs and started learning it. It's not the easiest piece to learn but I'm trying whenever I get the chance. Hopefully I'll be able to play it for you one day. Like with Oupie I have so many fond memories of you. Two distinct memories I have are of you threatening me with a slipper to the bum for jumping on your beds and the second for saying guys. To say the least I was always terrified of your wooden spoon and slipper always upon you foot. I remember distinctly the one day you caught me jumping on the bed and all I remember was you taking your slipper off your foot and wagging it at me. I have never stopped jumping and sat down on bum so fast before in my life. "Dominique, does my slipper need to have a conversation with your bottom?" I remember you saying. In terms of the use of the word 'guys' in referral to Oupie and yourself I remember how you gave me a stern look and said, "Dominique, you shouldn't say guys. the term to use if folk/s." To this day I still catch myself out when I say 'guys' because I can quietly hear your disapproval in the back of my mind and then i say out loud 'it's funny my gran always taught me to say folk/s, she never liked the term guys'. How the years have gone by. With Oupie it was knitting, with you Granny it was the sewing. I remember all the barbie clothes you'd make for me (while keeping my Barbie hostage) while I was attending school and how during the holidays you would release the doll into my custody along with a 5L ice-cream container full of new clothes for her. I can remember spending hours at your feet going through all your off cuts and stitching together bibs and 'clothes' for my Barbie. And the baking! I remember the baking so vividly. Yummy! I also remember how Oupie was always in charge of the cereal and you were always in charge of the toast, and sometimes you would let me be the nurse and set out all the medicine for you and Oupie. I will also NEVER forget the 'THURSDAY routine', as Cristi would say 'ever ever' instead of Never never. It was up early to eat breakfast and then off to the hair dresser. After your hair was all permed and beautiful we would go shopping and we would get the weeks groceries. Every week I remember you and Oupie would give me R5 to spend on those Thursdays. Sometimes I'd spend it all, other times I would save it up and by something. It all depended on wether or not I wanted to listen to you or not. Apart from thursdays, I was always your personal hairdresser during the week. I wish I could do this all again. I love you Granny and I miss you terribly!

I don't think that this little blog post stands for much but it seems easier to type then to write all of this. Thank you so much for all the life lessons that you both taught me. All the memories we have that I'll never forget and all the good things you have both placed on the timeline of my  life. I will forever remember you both.

Granny I know you are very sick right now but I pray that you will recover and that i will be able to see you again. So this letter will never be good-bye but will rather be until next time. I still have every had written note we ever shared because You believed in written communication. You and Oupie will remain forever in my prayers. Stay strong and look after each other.

I love you both.
Until next time. All my best.
Domie

No comments:

Post a Comment