a Word or Two

It's December, the Christmas season.
In fact it's Christmas day and yet, something doesn't feel right.
Doesn't feel whole.
It just all round doesn't feel like Christmas.
The second most loved day in my year and I'm not loving it.
Irony? Not really. I'm glad to be with family and sad to be away from friends.
Excited at the prospect of this year almost being over and let down by the lack of sincerity in this beautiful season.
I feel as if people have yet again forgotten the true meaning of Christmas and need to be reminded. So keep your gifts and party favours and rather look towards what Christmas means.
I'm not saying that Christmas isn't about giving and receving, becasue it is, and so much more too. What I'm saying is that when you give, give with sincerity and when you receive, receive with gratitude. Most important NEVER forget that 'Christ'mas is about the birth of our Saviour Jesus Christ :)
Xx

IDEA

Chapter one

Shadows. Darkness. Purity. Light.

One from the other. So different and yet so similar.

What is it that unites these elements and yet grants unto them an individuality unknown to man?

Why are some attracted to the silence of night and others the angels of day?

(more to come)

Good-bye Spirit Demon

It is so confusing,

How I feel about you.

I'm going around and around

On a gigantic spinning wheel of emotion.

I never meant to do this,

And I'll hope you understand.

I never meant to break your heart,

leaving you without my hand.

You know, you mean the world to me,

my Spirit Demon love.

I feel darkness creeping over me.

My emotions lost,

Have I become your foe?

I hope that you will be ever present,

as a lover or just my friend.

But now it's time to let you go.

No apology in the world,

can mend what I have done.

And even though you say you have,

your forgiveness of me is wrong.

My heart just crumbles as I write,

these words to you my "Elmo".

Tears just streaming down my cheeks,

emotions running high.

So please just know.

I LOVE YOU!

"I know this doesn't equate to much and I'm really sorry for what I've done. I'm sorry I couldn't say this in person and that no words would come to my lips when I had the chance. But like I have said before when I write things they sound a lot better. I hope you will forgive my unforgivable act. But I also want you to know, everything I every said to you, everything we ever did together meant the world. It wasn't all empty and it certainly wasn't fake. so again I'm really sorry."

Just my luck!

Have you ever wanted something so bad, that you will do anything to have it? It was like that with me and you. Since the first day we met you captured me and I wanted you at all costs no matter what. Now that I have you I'm not so sure. I fought so long and hard for you and now there is no more fight within my soul. I wish there was but there isn't. Your constant silence is choking me. I love you but I want to move forward. I want to be happy. I want to be free. You're breaking my heart and I don't know how to tell you. I want you to stop so we can go back and figure out how we got here but you won't and we can't. I love your family as much as you but today you took something from me. You did something you promised never to do. You broke my heart. I have been fighting for you for too long now, it's time I walked away but I can't because I'm trapped because I love you. You had me in tears today, choking back what I wanted to say to you, instead telling you I was fine and had to go. I don't care anymore and I don't want to fight, you're either in this or you aren't. I love/loved you but now I'm not sure...

TORN!

You are breaking my heart,
and you don't even know it.
You tear me apart,
just by appealing to my heart!

A mess of confusion,
how you feel about me.
I'm loosing control by
loosing my soul!

I could havd found out
today if I'd let you.
But 'life' got in the way.
So please tell me for certain
or just walk away!

Get away!

Can't i just have a single day?
A day where you don't exist!
A day where you don't piss me off,
Screw me over and make me want to cry!

I hate it when people change,
So good-bye you lil s***
Be gone and stop,
Stop expecting me to forgive you.

Why you?

This is insane,
how much you've changed.
We all know it's true,
everyone except you.


What's your problem boy?
You think you better then us?
Well, you're mistaken.
But nevermind your loss.

Stop being such a brat little boy.
You're whipped little boy.
She's got you tame little boy.
Bye-bye!

Welcome

Hello new friend,
the games begun.
I'm here, you're here,
let's have fun.

You've told me that you're changing,
because I'm in your life.
Now here's my confession,
my confused out look on life.

I'm not a surface colour,
or a dessert rose.
I'm not just many layers,
but a many crevices in stone.

All people see is black and white.
That's just how I roll.
But you my friend have seen the spectrum side of me.

So you'll either stay or you'll go,
hence i'm just going to let you know.
No matter what you choose to do,
always remeber,
I'll be forever here for you.

From AD

"Looking from a window above,
it's like a story of love.
Can you hear me?
Came back only yesterday.
Moving far away.
Want you near me.

All I needed was the love you gave.
All I needed for another day.
And all I ever knew,
Only you."

Thanks babe <3

Jst 4 u!

I'm not going to burn your name,
reveal you identity,
or write an angry blog.

You keep saying you don't want me to write about you in my blog so I thought I'd leave you a messgae. :D
Thanks for being an awesome friend and for taking away my insomnia...

<3

Baby Girl

Hey baby girl.
Here's a message just for you.
So smile baby girl.
Remeber I'm always here for you.

Even when the world seems grey.
I'll be here waiting.
Just keep your head up baby girl.
Don't cry, he loves you and so do I.

<3

Good-bye

Hey girlfriend,
the road's been great.
Now you're gone,
(shrug) life goes on.

Down in style,
laugh for a while.
Don't cry lil girl,
we'll be waiting.

Chin up lil mama,
got your baby waiting.
Hold him close,
and don' let go.

Good-bye lil girl,
this year's been great.
Now smile,
you got the whole world waiting...

<3

Emotion Hill

I ride this roller coaster wave over and over again with you.
It's an unending road of emotion.
A power struggle between the good the bad and the down right evil.
I wish I could win but you'll never let me go.
Please just let me have this one wish.
Open your arms, your mind and your heart and find it within yourself to forgive my sins.

I'm loving you but letting you go.
I know I broke your heart over and over again,
but baby hear these words and forgive me.
I'm begging this time for real.

I love you always will but now it's time to walk away.
Yeah I'll cry, and don't get me wrong I still want you here in my life.
But, now I'm asking 'forgive me'.

Mystery ^-^

Something about him captures me completely and it just won't let me go. What is it though? No one else is under his spell but for some reason I am. Memories flood my mind and my sense become numb to the world around me as I think back. Back to a time where I felt you there with me. Back to a time where you would come here and make me smile, when my life seemed grey. Except then I think back to those times you left me stranded and heartbroken and all I want to do is run and hide. But I can't because I know you'll find me. You always do and this is what makes your heart so true. So don't forget I'll always love you :D

Times Change (poem/riddle)

"Things will never be the same again.

Not like yesterday, today my friend.

Separate ways we go and part again.

Now it's time to say good-bye."

Times passes in the blink of an eye and you never realise it until you have nothing left to lose. What is it about us that makes us so different to the rest of humanity? Sure we have physical differences and we sleep at different times to others in our land but, in reality people across the globe of the same race sleep at different times. So, maybe we are just overseas stayers from different parts of the world and universe who are stuck in an endless cycle of jet-lag. Who am I?

Hope

When your world crumbles
and things fall apart
Never let go of your soul
and your heart.
Someday you'll find yourself once again.

Sure it will hurt when your love says
"good-bye".
But keep yourself open for the friends in you life
The friends who will end
your strife and your pain.
To again help you smile in the sparkling day.

Ghost

"My life is and unending book of sadness and sorrow.
My thoughts and dreams haunted by your memory.
Be gone beast of misery and let my happiness return,
there is no room for you here ghost from my past."

Long Ago

As the sun rises
My hope leaves me
Like the disappearing darkness goes
So the drkness comes

You showed me a life of light
But now that hope and love are gone
Taken away on the wongs of wind
Burried in a devilish pit of hatred
Nothing more I have to give

As I sit and write
Nothing you or I could do or say
Would ever make this right

I'll never regret giving my love to you
Or that you took it away as swiftly as it came
Never forget that life does not end with
Your sorrow, sadness and pain

You will find someone
But my time has come
To leave this world behind

I love you
But you are gone
Now, so am I
My spirit low
And this my lifeless song for you endure
The torturous pain I here implore

Love lost

I watch you leave as my heart breaks apart...
Why did you go without saying goodbye?
Didn't you see me satnding in the rain?
Watching you,
Staring into your soul?

Why am I blogging?

For everyone who will read this blog here is why I'm doing it.
When I'm mad or sad happy or mellow I usually write about my feelings through stories.
Lately I have been doing this a lot more often and have eventually decided to stop wasting paper and ink and start blogging.
This is not only for me but for everyone who can find inspiration in my words and who can learn from what I say.
Now I know everyone is probably going "What can i possibly learn from someone unqualified to give emotional advice?" well, here is my argument. You don't have to uber qualified teach, you don't even have to teach for people to learn. People learn from relating and this is my aim.
Everyone will learn just by being able to relate to what is written within these passges.
Whether it be just a romantic story or a passage on heartache or joy, it's all there and I hope you all find it useful.
Whether you learn or just enjoy reading what I've written. Enjoy!